Down the Rabbit Hole
by Pink Feline
Summary: AKA - Light in Wonderland. One should know better than to follow a mysterious albino boy with rabbit ears, after all, who knows what might happen and where one will end up? Oneshot. No pairings. Mild swearing. Not particularly funny.


**Disclaimer: This story is a piece of fiction and therefore does not follow the lines of cannon. I do not own the characters but simply use them for my pleasure.**

**Warnings: If you are looking for a well written intelligent story – this is not it. If you are looking for humour – you may very well not find it here. If you are looking for romance – you will have to look elsewhere. If you are looking for something mindless – welcome! Mild swearing, and probable OOC, but that is all warning you need.**

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**Down the Rabbit Hole**

Shadows played over the grass, swaying to the motions of the breeze as its caster did. Settled comfortably beneath the tree, two siblings basked in the heat of the day, enjoying the moment of peace and the escape from responsibility. That same rare peace was quickly disturbed by the sharp cheerful tune that sliced through the air, its source pulled from a pretty floral bag. Warm brown eyes watched as the phone was flipped open and placed against his sister's ear, the first beginnings of a conversation starting from the first cheerful greeting.

With the knowledge that peace and quiet would not return for some time, Light glanced around the park lazily. There were few people out, most choosing to spend the day shopping or on some other menial tasks. Light had taken a rare moment of time off despite the studies awaiting him at home. It had been his mother's suggestion, saying that he would be able to concentrate better after a bit of fresh air and relaxation. So dressed casually in a pair of beige slacks and a simple shirt with the cuffs rolled up, Light let the stress fall from his shoulders.

It was while staring out distantly that Light's eyes fell on a peculiar boy. It was not the paleness of his skin and hair or even the large dark eyes watching that made this boy peculiar. No, it was the long white furry ears that rose from the curly white head that caught his attention. Had the ears not been twitching to the side as though listening, Light would have thought it nothing more than a rabbit dress-up commodity.

But the ears were moving, and the boy was watching him with such a peculiarly blank expression, that Light had to blink a few times to exert to himself that he was not imagining things. Clad in white silk pajamas and most certainly not of asian decent, the boy stood out like a sore thumb.

As if hearing his thoughts, the pale albino rabbit boy turned around and started shuffling away, white ears drooping to the sides in disinterest. Light watched curiously to find the boy looking back at him for a moment before shuffling away again. Light wasn't sure but it was almost as though the boy wanted him to follow.

Looking at his sister, he found that she was still very much engrossed in the conversation over the phone and wouldn't miss his presence for a while. Standing up, Light decided to follow the albino if only to give him something to do.

Despite the rabbit boy's shuffling gait, he had still managed to put some distance between Light and himself. With the threat of loosing sight of the boy, Light increased his pace, but alas he was not quick enough. Light kept walking though, sure that he would catch up soon when he suddenly found himself stepping on nothing but open air.

The sudden drop stole his breath making screaming an impossibility. He watched in fascinated horror as the blue sky stretched away from him, a blue moon within the confines of the earth and the hole he had unwittingly stepped into.

When the first shock of falling passed, Light came to realize that he was falling for too long a period of time to be good. The new fear of falling to his death, or into the molten core of the centre of the earth paralyzed his mind and gave him the needed ability to scream.

Soon even that fear passed, as Light had yet to hit rock bottom and it left him numb and waiting. Just when he thought that he would be falling for the rest of eternity, Light found himself submerged in a large body of water. He distantly wondered how he hadn't broken any bones when he hit the water but disregarded the thought in favor of swimming to the surface for some much-needed air.

He gasped sweet air into his lungs when his head breached the surface, churning water as he fought to stay afloat. When he finally stopped heaving, Light risked a glance around him and was discouraged to find water extending as far as the eye could see in all directions, with no land in sight. The sky above was grey with pre-dawn and unobstructed by any clouds. There was no moon, though a few bright stars winked down at him.

Turning and floating on his back, Light wondered on how he had come to be in the position he was now. Floating in a strange ocean with no idea where he was and if he was going to survive, such prospects had not been possible under the gentle sun beneath that ancient tree.

Thinking along such lines was not conductive to his survival and so he turned his thoughts to some kind of solution to his problem. A gentle swirling commotion around his form alerted him to a change in his circumstances, blinking as the water deposited him on what turned out to be a thin stretch of beach.

Thankful that he was on dry land and no longer drifting aimlessly waiting to drown, Light stood and took in his new surroundings.

Water lapped softly at the white gold beach sands at his back, while a forest spread out before him a little ways a way. His attentions were caught by a huddle of figures further along the beach, their appearance animalistic from this distance. Seeing no other alternative but to go over and find out where he was, Light set off in their direction.

His pace had started off quick but lost speed as he got closer. The beings were no longer of animalistic appearance, instead they were grossly formed with gnarled limbs and bony protrusions, even one that looked suspiciously like a leech or some other odd slimy parasite. Creatures of a deadly nature for sure if the collection of bones dressed on their persons were anything to go by.

Rethinking the idea of speaking with them, Light stumbled when something of the other's make passed by him. Seeming to be largely ignored, Light considered the actions before him. Seeing no other way he moved forwards once more. The Shinigami were all seated or standing around a centre point, their attentions fixed in whatever lay there.

As Light neared the group, he came to distinguish two shinigami seated at the center with a collection of bones between them. He watched as one picked up the bones in a large clawed hand, curling his fingers around them, turning his hand and throwing them back down. A long drawn out sigh came from the shinigami's opponent that seemed to echo within half the spectators.

"Calikarcha wins again"

The words were spoken in a voice heavy with sorrow, a low rumble from the defeated. The bones were picked up again and the action repeated by each of the two players. Again the victory went to Calikarcha, though Light could not for the life of him figure the rules of the game.

"Excuse me"

His words, though softly spoken seemed to echo through the morose silence that seemed to hang like a cloud around the gamblers. A few eyes turned to him briefly but other than that he garnered no other response.

"If I can simply ask where this place is?"

Again he was ignored, the repetitive casting of bones seeming to enrapture all thought and passion, leaving them unreceptive to outside stimuli. Shaking his head in disgust and irritation, Light turned and left, heading for the forest just as the sun's rays began coloring the dawn.

He had not trekked far when he came across another Shinigami. Looming against the shadows of the trees and covered in a thick black covering, this one looked no less frightening than the rest. A large clown like smile spread the width of the square jaw, revealing a row of sharply pointed yellow teeth. Large round bulging eyes regarded him as soft rasping chuckles escaped the emaciated creature.

_Huyk hyuk hyuk…_

Light was in a mind to ignore the creature and find some other path when he realized that the Shinigami's attention was on him. Perhaps he would have an answer, and so Light ventured to ask…

"Who are you?"

_Hyuk, hyuk…_

"I am the shinigami Ryuk"

"Well Ryuk, can you tell me where I am?"

Ruyk let out a loud bark of amusement at the teen's politeness and only when his chuckles subsided did he make his answer.

"Do you have any apples?"

Light lifted a brow in surprise at the change in topic.

"I have nothing with me."

For a moment Shinigami Ryuk looked crestfallen, but the smirk returned quickly.

"No apples, no answers."

With that said a pair of black vulture wings took shape on the Shinigami's back, and with a single flap, lifted Ryuk into the sky and out of sight. Shocked at the sudden and rude dismissal, Light frowned. What the hell was up with Shinigami? Bastards.

Still without answers, Light returned to the task of looking for civilization. Surely there would be a town or village nearby, or so he really hoped. Around him the forest slowly let go of the shadows, letting them fade away. Birds conversed in their high pitched twittering voices, flittering about on their business. It was a comforting thought that there were some normal lively creatures living in the wood and not only the gambling enslaved Shinigami.

It was late morning when a break in the trees gave Light new hope, and made haste with increased enthusiasm. Much to his joy, a mansion of good repair stood tall and silent, a cobblestone path leading to the front doors. Filled with relief, Light set forth with a brisk pace and knocked gently against the giant wooden doors.

After a moment of silence, the doors swung silently in, permitting him to enter. A large neatly dressed gentleman stood waiting just beyond the doors, patiently waiting for Light. The man turned abruptly and began walking down the hall, not giving Light any time to explain his situation and fully expecting him to follow. Light walked a little behind what he surmised to be house servant, casting his eyes to the interior. The mansion was of classic Victorian architecture, much like the pictures some history and art books presented. He briefly wondered whether he had somehow come to the shores of Britain – but that was off course impossible.

"The Duchess Takada is waiting for you in the study"

With those last words Light was ushered into a handsomely furnished study. Large heavy wooden bookcases lined two walls, filled with books of various titles. At the centre stood a desk of expensive wood, various papers and writing tools neatly arranged and in order. Standing from behind the desk, a young dark haired woman awaited him.

She had a strong handsome face, lovely dark eyes that regarded him somewhat coolly and short attractively style hair. She motioned him to a seat by her desk before returning to her own. Light was grateful for the moment of reprieve, having spent the majority of the morning walking. After seating himself, Light turned to the Duchess and hoping to finally get some answers.

"Good afternoon. My name is Yagami Light and I apologize for intruding, but I was hoping you would be able to tell me where I am and hopefully direct me home?"

Takada leaned forward, resting her elbow on the desk and cradling her chin on the back of her hand. A small smirk played at the corners of her full lips, amusement clear in her eyes.

"You are on the Takada residence off course"

Light repressed the urge to sigh, instead kept up his polite face.

"But where is the Takada residence, and how do I return to Tokyo?"

Takada lowered her lashes prettily as though contemplating her answer, but Light could see the smirk still gracing her mouth.

"You tell me Yagami-kun. Where is 'here'?"

"A simple answer would suffice"

Takada waved away his words with a dismissive flap of her hand.

"It doesn't matter where we are except that we are here. What care have I for the things beyond the land granted to me from birth. This is my domain; there is no reason for me to pass beyond the boundary."

Seeing that he was not going to get any answers to his questions and knowing nothing more of the way home, Light stood and bowed politely, ready to take his leave.

"Thank you for your time but I think it is time for me to go."

The light hardened in Takada's eyes and the smile she gave was lacking in warmth or amusement.

"Dear Yagami-kun, it will be unacceptable for you to leave now. The wedding ceremony is scheduled to start within the hour and you must get ready."

Her eyes skimmed over his form as she spoke, assessing him to some degree but for an unknown purpose. Not sure why he was made to attend a wedding, Light inquired politely none the less.

"Who is the lucky couple?"

The Duchess stood, standing at eye level with Light, the same hardened expression on her face.

"Well Light, it is our wedding off course!"

Light stared at the woman in shock, running the words through his mind in an attempt to reassure whether he had heard and understood correctly.

"You will have to pardon me Takada-san, but from your words I mistake it to mean that you and I are to wed? That would be mistaken as we had only just met and had made none such formal agreement?"

A relaxed smile softened her face but she did not deign to reply. Two pairs of rough hands grabbed at his arms dragging him bodily out of the study as Takada watched, still smiling serenely. Light struggled at first, wondering what the hell was happening and what situation he had fallen into. The men dragging him were dressed in crisp black suits, their eyes covered in dark shades and with the distinct air of bodyguards in their actions.

Light wondered whether he had fallen in with yakuza or some other underground gang. His thoughts were interrupted when he was pushed into a room, the door closing decisively behind him. Turning and trying the handle, Light found that the door had been locked. Resigning himself to his misfortune, Light examined the room. Much like the rest of the house, the room was attractive. It was not overly feminine but held a simple timeless beauty. The Duchess had good taste if any of it were her doing.

Walking further into the room, Light noticed that on the bed, laid out carefully, was a new black suit. Light went over and fingered the material, examining the cut and styling of the suit. It was an attractive suit of fine make, expensive as well. Light was almost sorry for having to miss the opportunity to wear it, after all, Light was not intending to get married just yet, especially not to a woman he had only just met.

A light breeze rustled the curtains, drawing Light's attention from the suit. He walked over to the window and stuck his head out. Light couldn't remember having gone up or even being taken up stairs, but this room was obviously on the second floor, a minor complication. He stepped back for a moment, casting around for a means to help him escape. A bowl of fresh fruit placed on a little side table reminded him of a much more important matter – he hadn't eaten for the entirety of the morning and his stomach growled its dissatisfaction. Pocketing two apples, Light walked over to the window again and considered the classic sheet rope trick.

However the distinct click of heels alerted him to an approaching enemy, giving him no time for a flashy escape. With new haste, Light pushed the window open to its full capacity. Sitting on the sill, he swung his legs over and slowly eased himself out. He was grateful for the Victorian architecture as it gave him a sliver of a ledge to stand on, though one misstep would send him crashing down.

"Yagami-kun! Are you dressed? The guests are starting to arrive and the queen herself will be attending."

Takada's voice sang through the door, expectant and just a little threatening. His heart gave an uncomfortable little leap at the prospect of being caught, and that was enough for his foot to slip. Before he could blink, Light found himself sprawled on the ground, pain slowly starting to spread through his back side. He groaned in pain as he slowly rolled himself over, getting painfully to his knees. From above, angry voices floated down, growing in intensity. Just as Light managed to stand with a muffled curse, he looked up to see the coldly furious face of Takada regarding him from the window he had just fallen from.

Without further ado he stumbled away, wincing, back to the safety of the woods. Takada had said that she would not pass the boundary and Light sincerely hoped that he would pass over it soon.

When he could take it no more and feeling safe enough from Takada's wrath, Light gingerly sat down within the shade of a tree. Leaning back with a soft groan of pain, Light took a moment to simply breathe. Slowly the tenseness of his muscles began to fade, though his stomach chose that moment to remind him of its hunger. Taking one of the apples, Light sank his teeth into the juicy red fruit. The juice was sweet and enjoyable, a little piece of heaven as far as Light was concerned.

Perhaps it was fatigue and the stress of the morning, but Light was sure that the plants and trees around him were suddenly bigger, and growing bigger still. The apple core fell from his hand as he leaned forward, watching in fascination as the flower nearby grew as big as a soccer ball, and kept growing!

Maybe there was something wrong with the apple he had just eaten, for hallucinations could certainly not be caused by such a mild measure of tiredness and stress. Maybe it was simply this crazy place getting to him. Closing his eyes he leaned back against the tree. He must have dozed off as he jerked awake quite suddenly when a loud shriek pierced the air.

Looking around him, Light was horrified to find his view obscured by the body of an oversized swallow. Truly, swallows were not meant to grow to the size of castles, nor were they meant to stare at him as though he was some tasty morsel. Inching away from the hungry looking bird, he flinched when the bird let out another high pitched shriek. Ducking under the leaves of a nearby flower, he only just managed to miss the eager beak descending on him.

Running to the sanctuary of a nearby bush, Light crawled as deep as he could, well out of reach of the swallow. After a few unsuccessful attempts at pecking him out, the swallow finally gave up and flew away. With a relieved sigh, Light waited a little a while before daring to leave his safety behind.

Light wasn't stupid. When the evidence was right in front of him, no matter how outlandish or bizarre the conclusion may be, he would learn to accept it. Right now, all the evidence pointed to his shrinking, rather than his environment growing. Yes, it was bizarre and scientifically impossible, but then Shinigami wasn't a part of the scientific equation either.

His newly diminished size made him paranoid and jumpy, something which annoyed him to no end. It made his progress slow, and having lost all sense of direction now that half his view was obscured by plant growth, the journey was made even more intolerable. Foot sore and bruised, the journey was very much an unpleasant affair for the young genius. He had fancied himself quite fit before, but scarce a full day of walking and he was already red in the face and puffing. Grumbling to himself in low undertones as to release his frustrations without making himself noticed, Light's path finally cleared from grass to dirt.

Large pebbles sat like silent monuments on the path, their smooth surfaces giving no protection from hungry birds nor any other beast that may decide that Light would be a tasty treat. He considered for the moment the pros and cons of venturing into the brown beaten path. Travelling would be easier considering his size, but he would have little to hide under should danger pass. Light was quite fed up having to crawl and climb over grass stalks though and so made his decision quickly.

With a great deal amount of caution, Light walked into the open. No shadow darted down to grab him and there was no 'sense' of danger, so he moved on. He had not traveled far when a figure seated on a rough stone caught his attention. Whether the seated figure noticed his approach, Light could not tell, for the other's attention was firmly affixed to an object gripped in both hands. As he got closer, Light was able to associate the sounds emitting from said object to be of an electronic nature – most probably a handheld game or something of a similar nature.

Relieved to some degree at the familiarity of technology, Light quickly cast an examining eye on what appeared to be a teenage boy. Auburn red hair hung about the boys' face in a shaggy cut and a pair of yellow tinted goggles covered his eyes. Closer now, Light could also make out the device within the other's gloved hands and was pleased to note that he had been right in his guess. A cigarette hung from the corner of the teen's mouth, emitting a thin trail of smoke, which he also blew out at intervals.

Light cleared his throat politely and quietly introduced himself. The other did not turn away from his device and Light wondered whether he was doomed to meet up with socially inept idiots who refused to acknowledge him or give him answers.

"Matt"

Light nodded politely and somewhat gratefully despite the impolite delivery. At least he had a name for the teen now.

"I don't suppose you can tell me where I am and how it is that I shrunk?'

Matt shrugged, not once letting his attention drift to Light whom could feel anger starting to bite at him. Light was growing increasingly tired with the avoidance to his questions and the odd actions of the people he met. Was no one in this forest sane? His own internal grumbling soured his mood quickly, his expression growing dark as he thought back on the useless and problematic Shinigami and the Duchess.

His train of thought was disturbed when at last Matt took the time to look at him, his eyes unreadable behind the colored goggles. There was a moment of silence as they seized each other up and then, with a great sigh, Matt turned back to his device. Before Light's irritation and anger could simmer further, the redhead spoke.

"If you want answers, it's best to ask L."

"Who is L?"

Another shrug.

"L knows everything. He should be able to tell you who you are, where you are going and how to get back"

Matt fell silent to which Light got the impression that the redhead would say no more. Well, he just needed one more piece of information in finding this 'L'. Directions.

"Where can I find L?"

There was a sudden burst of energy as something happened in the game Matt was playing and after a minute of waiting, Matt lifted one hand from the portable controls.

"If you keep following that direction, you should come across L."

Light stared dubiously in the direction Matt was pointing in, for it led back into the grass. However, Matt had given him more information and help than any of the others he had met thus far. Little though the information was, it was more than he had five minutes ago. If only he could find this 'L'. Light hoped fervently than L was saner and less odd than the characters in the forest. So after politely thanking Matt, Light set off in the direction that the redhead had pointed in.

It didn't take long for Light's mood to sour again as he walked along. It was starting to get dark in the forest decreasing his visibility further. He also began to think that Matt had pointed in any direction for the simple task of getting rid of Light. Fully roused into anger, Light scowled fiercely and stopped. The shadows were growing long with the onset of night, a thoroughly chilling change in the ancient confines of the wood.

Needing to vent his frustration out on something, Light turned and kicked at a tree. Now such a foolish act was generally beneath him as everyone knew that such an action did nothing more than bruise one's toes and thereby helping to further frustrate. That did not stop him now. He did stumble forward slightly in surprise when the wooden 'trunk' he had intended to kick, swung inwards. Squinting in the gloom, Light realized that he had failed to note the door flanked on both sides by a towering pleached hedge wall. Cursing his own foolishness and glad that he had no companion to amuse with his failings, Light cautiously stepped through the door.

It was harder to see on the other side of the wall, the darkness being thicker here, but he did manage to identify that he had just unwittingly entered a maze. Another hedge wall blocked his way, but a path led away to either side. Wanting no part in the puzzle, Light turned around with the intention of exciting before he got himself lost. The only problem with that though was the fact that the door was gone.

Gone. Vanished. Disappeared.

After a full minute of staring at the place where the door should have been in horrified surprise, Light shook some sense into himself. Truly luck was not on his side.

Cursing Shinigami, the Duchess and Matt, Light reluctantly stalked down the path to his right.

It could be said by now that Light was thoroughly tired of walking. He was supposed to be relaxing for heaven's sake! That was his intention with going to the park with Sayu. If only he had not allowed his mother into talking him into going to the park. If only he had decided to ignore the albino rabbit boy! If only!

But Light didn't live with 'If only' and 'What if'. He lived and dealt with the consequences of his actions and the future without reminiscing about the 'could have been's and 'should have's. That he was doing so now revealed his distress and tiredness.

He navigated the maze in darkness, scarcely able to see past his nose, and he had taken to keeping an arm extended to the front lest he literally walk into a dead end once more. Once was enough. After failing to find the exit, Light allowed himself to collapse as gracefully as he could manage to the ground. He closed his eyes and took a moment to rest. His peace was disturbed though when a familiar chuckling reached his ears, his eyes popping open and searching the shadows intently.

_Hyuk hyuk hyuk…_

His eyes trailed up to the upper edge of the wall to find glowing yellow orbs regarding him. The Shinigami Ryuk would have been difficult to make out had he not been in reach of the moon's light. His pallid face seemed aglow, giving him the appearance of being bodiless. Light suppressed a shiver. The shinigami was ugly enough in full, but appearing as though only a head only added to the horrifying aspect.

"Ryuk"

The chuckles subsided as he addressed the Shinigami.

"Evening"

The cordial greeting grated on Light's frayed nerves and knowing the futility of asking anything of the Shinigami, Light simply closed his eyes once more as though to shut the creature out. He was too tired to deal with mentally draining idiots like Ryuk.

"You seem tired"

Light answered him with silence.

"You just gonna sit there?"

Silence.

"I'm bored"

Well it appeared that Ryuk had no intention of leaving him alone. Sending a heated glare upward to the annoying moron, Light gritted out an answer.

"Well if you can tell me the way out and where I am, I might not have to sit here and bore you."

Ryuk cocked his head to the side in what should have been a contemplative gesture but seemed mere moronic naivete. Light closed his eyes once more with a tired sigh.

"Do you have any apples?"

Patting his pocket Light was satisfied to note that the apple was still there. Having noticed the gesture, Ryuk leaned forward eagerly from his perch on the wall, looking dangerously close to toppling off headfirst.

"One apple, one answer."

That simple statement reminded Light of the earlier promise made by Ryuk. Light was somewhat reluctant to part with the apple though since he had no other sustenance, but he was desperate to get out of this hellhole.

"Fine, you tell me where the exit is and I'll give you the apple."

Ryuk chuckled once more, a hunger gleaming in his bulging eyes that would have scared a lesser man. It was a good thing that Shinigami was not much disposed to human flesh.

"The exit is there."

Light stared in some confusion as Ryuk pointed in his direction. Scowling, Light climbed to his feet and turned around, wondering what kind of trick Ryuk was playing. To his surprise, Light realized that he had been sitting against a door unknowingly. Surely it had not been there before. Baffled, all Light could do was stare while berating himself once more. He seemed to be doing that over much lately. The Shinigami's chuckles set his teeth on edge, but a deal was a deal.

Tossing the apple to the eager Shinigami, Light moved to examine the door. Testing it, he found it unlocked to his great relief. He turned around to address Ryuk only to find that the creature had vanished. Shrugging with indifference, Light slowly opened the door, wondering where he would end up this time.

Stepping through Light was surprised to find himself in what appeared to be a dining hall. The walls were hedges like the maze, but numerous floating candles lighted the area in a more welcoming display. Well there went the laws of gravity as well, running away hand in hand with reason.

At the center stood a long wooden dining table and lo' behold, two figures were seated at each end. Light examined the first and youngest looking of the two. At first he was unsure whether it was a boy or a girl, but the tight nature of his black leather clothing revealed his gender well enough. Blonde hair framed a youthful and impish face, the ends just long enough to brush along slender shoulders. If Light was to guess at an age, he would have said maybe thirteen, but there was an alarming intelligence and hostility in the blonde's narrowed blue eyes.

He turned his gaze next to the dark haired stranger at the other end and was caught in a penetrating black gaze. Getting over the initial shock at such unusually blank eyes, Light took in the rest of the man's appearance. This one definitely had a good number of years more than the blonde, though he too was still somewhat youthful. The man was sitting in the most peculiar of ways; his spine bent in what should have been an uncomfortable position to maintain. His hair was terribly messy and his skin pallid.

Feeling their eyes scrutinizing him as he was them, Light kept himself under tight control. He made sure that he looked nothing by mildly interested with no hint of nervousness or any other 'weakness'. The tension in the room was of caution and challenge, an ever-lasting battle of wills. Wondering how to approach, Light was saved by an outburst from the blonde.

"Who the hell are you!?"

Ah, so this one was a hot-tempered child. Light did not take a liking to the blonde at all and decided to ignore him for the time being, except to make sure that he attempted no bodily harm.

"Mello"

The dark tenor of the dark haired man seemed to calm the obnoxious one for which Light was grateful. Said man turned to him and motioned with his hand to another seat, at the middle side of the table. Taking the invitation, Light gingerly seated himself, wary of Mello and the yet unidentified man.

"Near has yet to join us, but we can wait. He should not be long."

Light had no idea who or what Near was, but he nodded politely none the less. Glancing at the blonde, Light found the younger glaring daggers at him, chewing on a bar of chocolate as he did so. Turning back the dark haired one, he found the other one watching him carefully as well. Noticing that Light's attention had shifted back to him, the older one picked up a quaint little teapot and held it to him questioningly.

"Tea?"

Not sure where the tea set had appeared from and past the point of caring, Light nodded gratefully. Tea would be welcome indeed. He accepted the cup passed to him, ignoring the breach in etiquette as the unnamed stretched himself over the table to pass it. He took a grateful sip and promptly choked on the sickeningly sweet concoction sliding down his throat. Coughing and hacking, Light pushed the tea as far from him as he could with extreme distaste. When finally he regained the ability to breathe normally and ignoring the questioning look from the dark haired man, Light scowled.

"Is something wrong?"

Light stared at the unnamed one in incredulous surprise. Was anything wrong? Off course!

"The tea is too sweet"

The questioning look faded into something that had the faint traces of surprise, while being blank in the process.

"I assure you that you are wrong"

Light scoffed. How could this man tell him that he was wrong when the tea was clearly more sugar than liquid!? His expression must not have changed overly much for the man began to nibble on the nail of his thumb in what Light recognized to be a contemplative gesture. The man appeared deep in thought – about the sweetness of the tea of all things!

"Light-kun must not be very intelligent"

That murmured statement managed to release the floodgates of all Lights outrage and fury. Standing, Light slammed his hands down on the table and glared balefully at the other. The snickers coming from Mello's side went largely ignored.

"What the hell does thinking that the tea is too sweet have to do with intelligence!?"

Light's voice was harsh and demanding, politeness and diplomacy disregarded in favor of releasing the irritation built up through the course of the stressful day. Dark-hair seemed unperturbed by Light's outburst and merely regarded him as though he was a child in the throes of a full-blown tantrum.

"Ah, you see, using one's brain in intelligent pursuits or thought requires a large amount of energy. Energy that can only be supplied by large quantities of sugar. By admitting the tea was too sweet, Light-kun effectively proved that he has not, nor ever has, used his brainpower. If you had, then the tea would not have been too sweet."

Light wondered what kind of drug the man was on, for such logic was terribly juvenile and foolish. Where Mello appeared young in body, he had the air of an older soul. This man, though in an older body, was very much child-like. Light had never been good with children. Any remark he was about to make was effectively interrupted by the approach of the fourth member.

The same albino rabbit boy that Light had followed into this crazy world now shuffled into the room and carefully seated himself. Mello's displeasure immediately turned to the white-haired boy, seeming more intense than before. Did this kid like anybody? Light watched as a cup of the sugary concoction was passed to the boy. A small toy robot was clutched in the pale fist of the albino, the other encircling the cup and lifting it to his lips.

'Near', as Light supposed the boy was called, drank quietly without complaint or any indication that the tea was anything other than just right. Light rubbed at his temples as he felt a headache begin to form. This place was filled with the insane, the illogical and the idiotic. He was at the end of his patience.

"You look troubled"

Light glared at the man, daring him to comment further.

"Troubled? Why shouldn't I be?! This whole place is filled with moronic idiots and completely messed up! All I want is to find L and get the hell out of here!"

There was silence after his little outburst as three pairs of eyes regarded him thoughtfully. Lights heavy breathing was the only sound, along with the soft musical notes of porcelain.

"I am L"

Was there no end to surprises? Light's face closed off into a cool blank exterior. His jaw was set and his eyes blazing in anger. Horror mixed with his anger, turning it into an icy rock within his guts. This idiot could not be L, and if he was L, then Matt had been wrong. He did not care for the fact that 'L' knew his name without having been introduced. He did not care for the analyzing gazes of the other two boys as though testing him. He had had enough.

"What purpose had Light-kun in searching for me?"

There was honest curiosity there, or as honest as the man could get, but Light ignored it.

"Nevermind, I'll figure it out for myself!" he snapped.

Pushing away from the table, Light prepared to stalk off when a cold grip around his wrist made him look down. He stared disbelieving for a moment at the handcuff that was now attached to his wrist. His eyes followed the chain and came to rest on the opposing cuff, which was attached to the wrist of the 'all knowing L'.

"What the fucking hell!?!"

When Light managed to find his voice, he erupted into a tirade of icy insults, obscenities, accusations of perversion and other choice insults that his mind could dredge up. L seemed to bear the storm with a cool demeanor of his own, his jaw set stubbornly, clearly not intending to back down and remove the cuffs.

"Light-kun is overreacting. You mentioned you were looking for me and now you refuse to tell me why. We shall be chained together until Light-kun decides to reveal his reasons in looking for me."

By the interested expressions of the two younger boys, L had done something unusual and unexpected. Light wasn't sure what to make of that fact and knew only that he did not wish to be attached to this man. Wanting out Light decided he might as well speak the truth, if only to get rid of the moron.

"I had simply hoped to find out where the hell this place is and how to get out"

He had managed to grit it out through clenched teeth, feeling thoroughly harassed. L regarded him suspiciously, his thumb under direct assault as the eccentric man thought.

"I don't believe that that was what Light-kun had wanted to know considering that here is here and the exit is over there. If you had not known this then you are a greater fool than I thought."

Tired, hungry, harassed and thoroughly insulted, Light turned and stalked towards the said exit, jerking hard on the chain and thereby dragging L along with him. Throwing open the door, Light and L stepped out into a lovely manicured garden bathed in the light of the moon. The gardens extended as far as the eye could see with no building in sight.

Ignoring his unwelcome companion, Light stalked down the cobbled path the determination of finding a civilized place. Gardens like these were usually attributes of a large estate, one he sincerely hoped did not house one such as the Duchess. After an hour's walking, Light finally collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. L crouched down next to him, watching him with blank eyes as dark as the night sky above.

"I'm tired. Go to sleep."

"I don't need sleep" was his reply.

That statement did not come as a surprise. Any fool could recognize the dark bags beneath L's eyes, testament to a lack of sleep. None-the-less Light scoffed and turned his back on the man. Seeing no shelter, Light crawled onto the soft grass of the lawn and lay down. Here was as good a place as any to sleep.

He had just slipped into a light doze when a firm prod at his back startled him back to wakefulness. He decided to ignore it and made to go back to sleep when he was poked once more. Knowing that there could only be one perpetrator, Light whirled around with a furious snarl, his fist connecting with the other's cheek. Before he could revel in the satisfaction of the hit, a foot caught him in the stomach, driving all breath from his body.

Grabbing hold of the chain, Light tugged hard, pulling L closer and into range for another punch. He met little resistance though and caused L to fall into him. The two grappled for a bit until Light managed to forcefully push L off of him. Scowling at the other while breathing heavily, the two entered into a viscous staring match. Feeling fatigue seep into his limbs, Light snarled out a warning to L.

"Go to fucking sleep or amuse yourself in some other way, but leave me the hell alone!"

With that said and done, Light laid down on his side once more, trying to hide the painful grimace as his newly acquired bruises complained at the lack of a bed. He must have gotten through to L for he managed to slip into sleep without further annoyance or interruption.

The two were up early the next morning, Light feeling decidedly stiff and sore, doing nothing to improve his mood. They walked in silence, ignoring each other as best as they could considering the chain that bound them together.

Light looked around hoping to come across the owner of the lands soon, or the house. He was hungry, as his stomach reminded him, and his sleep had been anything but restful. It was a moment's inattention when a body collided with Light, sending both to the ground with L following. Feeling his bruises anew, Light growled at the fool whose fault it was. Scrambling up was another black-haired man, surely not even in his thirties yet, a sheepish smile plastered over his friendly face. Already Light could tell that this was a common occurrence with the man and his cheerful disposition only irritated Light further. Light did not like this man.

"Ah! My apologies! I wasn't looking where I was going and look what happened, but you see I am in a hurry. I am sorry though!!"

"And where are you to in such a hurry?"

Perhaps the fool could prove to be of some worth by leading him to civilization, and if so Light might just consider forgiving him for his stupidity.

"I'm Matsuda by the way and I was on my way to the party when I got lost in the gardens."

"Party?"

Matsuda nodded emphatically, a broad smile lighting up his face and a dreamy glaze filling his eyes.

"The Queen always hosts these parties and I was specially invited to attend! It is such an honor! Queen Misa is so very kind and cute! Everybody thinks…"

Light stopped listening at that point, more concerned with releasing himself from Matsuda's grip. The man had decided to drag Light and therefore L after him, going on and on about the Queen's beauty and the honor of actually having been invited. L was in a similarly dissatisfied state at being dragged behind the babbling idiot, but could do no more than kick the man until he was done. But for L to kick Matsuda, the man would have to slow down first so that he could get in range, which was not happening. So the two suffered under the cheerful assault of court gossip, their struggles ceasing for the moment as their futility was recognized. At least Matsuda appeared to be leading them to the castle or whatever the Queen called home.

At long last the castle came into view. From Matsuda's rambling praise, Light had expected some white washed fairytale castle, not the dark gothic fortress before him. As they neared the gate, Matsuda finally relinquished his hold on Lights arm and pranced through. Glancing at each other, Light and L considered the foreboding gate, Light being the first one to step forward. He was prevented from advancing further when his wrist was once more grabbed.

Looking at the newcomer stopping him, Light met another pair of intelligent eyes. This man had the look of a scholar more than anything, but with an underlying tone of danger about him.

"Who the hell are you?"

Light did not bother with pleasantries. He was growing annoyed quickly, more so than before and he was not in the mood to deal with anyone else.

"I am Mikami Teru, and you are under arrest for the theft of the Queen's journal. The court has assembled and awaits your trial to begin."

"I have no idea what you are going on about! I didn't steal anything!"

His protests went ignored as two guards took up station at either side of them. Thus was Light and L marched to court where the trial was to take place. Indeed everything was set up when they arrived, a crowd having gathered to witness. Glancing through the crowd, Light was able to identify the shinigami from the beach, the Duchess Takada, Matt, Mello and even Matsuda. The tips of white rabbit ears indicated the Near was present too, though not overly interested in the proceedings.

A voice announced that Rem would be presiding over the trial and that the accusations will now be read to the court. Glancing at the judges seat, Light discovered that Rem was a shinigami, no more attractive than her kin and staring at him with barely concealed hate. With no idea why the Shinigami hated him and knowing that it was working against him, Light focused on the charges being read.

Light was being accused of the theft of the Queen's fabled journal, known only as the 'Death Note'. The item was said to have disappeared the night before, leaving the Queen quite distressed. With the charges read, Light was allowed a chance to protest his innocence.

"I couldn't have stolen the journal considering that I was lost in the gardens at the perceived time of the theft. With that, my lack of knowledge on the geographical area and the location of this castle makes it improbable that I can achieve such a feat."

A low rumble spread through the court and the jury, whether favorable or not, Light could not tell.

"Does the accused have any witnesses to back his claims?"

Light thrust a finger in L's direction, the man watching the proceedings with his thumb pressed against his lips in habit. No defense was forthcoming however; much to Light's chagrin.

"Since the accuse can provide no evidence to his innocence, he is declared guilty and punishable by death."

Light stepped back in shock, murmurs rising louder from the crowd at his back. This was utterly ridiculous!

"The trial is highly unfair! You have shown no evidence to convict me at all and therefore I can not be accused of any wrong doing!"

Silence descended as the crowd looked on. Rem regarded Light with obvious distaste, her cat-like eye narrowed.

"Well, who else can be the culprit boy? You do not belong here, more reason for you to take what is not yours"

"Everyone has been called to witness, am I correct?"

L's voice cut through the air stilling all, though he had not raised his voice. At Rem's nod, the dark-haired man continued.

"I do believe that the Shinigami Ryuk has not shown his face and is absent. Ryuk is a notorious trouble maker, as we all know, and can therefore be considered a suspect."

Rumbling agreement met his statement, Rem nodding reluctantly to the logic. A small commotion further disrupted the trial; a pretty blonde dressed in a short black dress storming into the courtroom determinedly. The dress she wore was not particularly lavish, and her hair styled into two pigtails made her look years younger. The crown perched atop her head was the only indication Light got that this was Queen Misa

"Light-kun isn't guilty!"

The queen's voice carried through the room, sharp and emotional.

"Even if he is guilty, I don't care! I will forgive him that because I love him!"

Frozen in shock at the declaration of love, Light could only blink at Misa threw herself bodily at him, her arms encircling his back as she hugged him. Uncertain of what to do that wouldn't get him killed, Light was saved by a clipped and distinctly feminine voice. The Duchess had stormed her way over, a chillingly dark expression on her face as she grabbed one of Misa's arms and flung her away. Standing over the stunned queen with arms crossed, Takada glowered down at the prone girl.

"You'll have to forgive me, little Queen, but Light is MY betrothed."

Her voice was cold enough to chill ice, her stance threatening. Misa's eyes narrowed in righteous fury and in the blink of an eye she was up glaring face to face with her new nemesis.

"I am the Queen! He is mine and fit for better things than a mere Duchess!"

From there the fight escalated from a shouting match to a full-blown catfight, Light watching numbly from the sidelines. He glanced to the side when L came to stand at his side, his eyes trained on the fighting women as well.

"It would appear that Light-kun is quite the player and now he has two fine ladies fighting over him. Any man would envy your position."

Before Light could make a sarcastic reply, the two said women paused in their fight and turned to the dark haired genius. From the expressions on their face, L was suddenly in quite the precarious situation. Before L could so much as step back in surprise, the two ladies tackled him, screaming how he was a kinky pervert that wanted Light for himself hence the handcuffs. It would seem that L had no inhibitions at all about kicking back at the girls, but he had his work cut out for him.

Unfortunately the length of the chain was not great and too soon Light was dragged down into the fight as well. A rogue kick had the luck of catching him in the back of the head, flooring the poor boy and knocking him unconscious.

When he finally awoke, it was to the feel of a soft mattress beneath his back and warm blankets around his form. Glancing to the side he was able to make out the faint shape of L, as the detective typed away at his laptop. With the comfortable knowledge that it had all been a dream, Light allowed himself to contemplate the strange events, wondering briefly how it came to be that there was a tender bump forming at the back of his head where he had been kicked.

* * *

**A little oneshot to help me break through writer's block. Reviews are greatly loved and appreciated.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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